Ode to Loola Mae

This is Kylie. I've hacked my mom's blog not to surprise her or do a kind deed, but because tragedy has struck recently in the Earl home. Loola Mae, my dear dear cat and best friend, is gone. I got the call from my mom last night and immediately broke down. I loved that cat more than I love my own sisters (sorry guys) and she was the bright shining star in my somewhat dismal life. The world has never known a love like the love the two of us shared; just a girl and her cat, taking on the world by storm.

I thought I might just take this moment to share some of my favorite memories of Loola Mae. These are in no particular order:

• Sometimes she would sleep on the end of my bed like a faithful dog. I loved those nights. I would have to hold really really still and be careful not to move my body in the slightest, otherwise she would get T.O'ed and leave.
• 

• When I was doing my makeup in the morning and sitting in front of my mirror, she would sit in my lap so I couldn't lean over to my make up bag. Then she would swat at me while I tried to put on my mascara and leave me looking like a cheap hooker. Precious.
• 
• I liked to pick her up and hug her as tight as I could until she could fight her way out of my arms. Sometimes this would get her real riled up and then she would stalk me like her prey and chase me through the house. Oh the memories!
• She loved sparkly things and dresses and this is for real. Those of you who know me know that I don't keep a very tidy room so naturally there are clothes everywhere, but regardless of all the options anytime a dance costume or fancy dress touched the floor she was all over that business. I raised her right.

• One time I called her fat and she glared at me for like 5 full minutes, no exaggeration. (and yeah not only do I talk to my cat but I insult her when I'm having a rough day, Ok?)

So apparently Loola Mae just went "missing" suddenly. I know, my first thought was Dad with the candlestick in the T.V. room too, but mom swears he didn't. She and Kendall had both noticed she hadn't been around for a few days so they told my dad and had some house wide search for the dead cat. No sign of her. Best they can guess is that she got out when the front door was accidentally blown open or something. That cat was raised by me, therefore she is not bred for the outdoors...

My dear roommate/BFFL Nicole Roxanne Hamilton saw that I was having a rough time with the disappearance of my precious kitty, and being the poetic genius that she is came home with this little beauty to cheer me up. Oh how it worked. I know that this news will come as a shock to all of you faithful readers out there and so I wanted to share this piece of comfort with you, even though it is very specifically written for me. Not you guys. Just me. Not you. Because I loved her most. Here goes:

Loola Mae wasn't just a cat,

she was oh so much more than that.

She brought you so much happiness and joy,

she was a great substitute for your lack of a boy.

I know you loved that cat a whole lot,

but it is still debatable whether she liked you back or not.

With Loola Mae you loved to cuddle and play,

during which she only tried to run away.

Loola thought your obsession with her was creepy and weird,

And it was clear that your feelings for her were not mirrored.

I feel terrible for that cat, but not cuz she's dead,

but because something was clearly wrong in her head.

Who wouldn't want your love and devotion,

and getting rubbed down with the finest of lotion*?

Who wouldn't want to be held in your arms,

And to wear a sparkly pink collar all covered in charms?

I hate to say it, but Loola Mae was kinda a beezy of a cat,

Who wouldn't want your McLovin' and all that?

I know you wonder why she went out that door,

Maybe it's cuz she thought her life needed more.

Or perhaps like in Modern Family animal suicide is real,

But either way did that selfish cat consider how you'd feel?

No she did not, that little whore,

But don't get down, your life has so much more.

Like a roommate that wrote you this blessed poem,

and a loving family, and friends, and a beautiful home.

Incredibly stunning really really ridiculously good looks,

and a growing collection of children's books.

not to mention the most wondrous of baking skills,

and a sweet gaze that gives the manliest of men the chills.

Yes it is true that Loola Mae is physically gone,

but her memory and legacy will forever live on.

*As weird as my relationship with my cat may have been, I did not on any occasion rub her down with fine lotions. That would have just made her fur greasy.

See why Nicole's my BFFL? truly inspiring words.

Loola Mae I love you and I miss you already. Lucky for you, I'm not a great cat owner so you will have tons of friends in kitty heaven. You're welcome.