The Big Apple

Every year I attend a costume preview show in New York City with my two best friends and business partners, Lori Baker and Janet Bergeson. We are getting pretty good at navigating our way around the city. We generally only have 2 days to play and 2 days for business. Some year when we are rich and don't have so many kids at home, we are gonna stay and play longer - at least that's the dream! Danielle (Lori's daughter) came with us this year because she didn't get to go the year we took Tanae and Courtney, and it was really fun to have her along.






Top 10 things I learned in New York this year:

#10 White cupcakes with white frosting from Magnolia Bakery are highly overrated.

They were not life changing, they were not amazing, they were not even good. What is all the hype about cupcakes? They are on every movie and tv show and I keep thinking that someone has created a cupcake that appeals to adult palates but they haven't. Now I haven't tried Oprah's mail order cupcakes, but I have tried a few other famous brands and so far they are just cupcakes. Come on people! Now Chili's Molten Lava cake - there's a dessert worth buzzing about!!

#9 If you are interviewed for tickets to The David Letterman Show and you are asked "What is your favorite part of the show?" and you are stumped for an answer, you are not likely to get chosen to be part of the audience no matter how uninteresting the rest of the people in line look.

We have been to the Letterman show a couple of times and we get rejected about every other year. They don't really like all women groups, they prefer men. Last year we got in to see the show (they must have been desperate) and the musical guest was... "Fitty Cent" - lucky us! You should have seen the look on that rapper's face as he looked out over his mostly white, mostly over 50 audience as he tried to get us to wave our hands over our heads to "Ayo Technology." It was comical to say the least. His look of utter discomfort made it all worthwhile.



#8 If you want to get up early and go see a taping of The View in hopes of receiving any type of free gift... don't go with my friends.

I think the very first year that we went to NY (6 years ago?), I talked them into getting up early to go see Regis and Kelly. That was the first and last early morning show we saw. I'll never know what semi-fabulous prize may have been mine last Tuesday on The View. I don't even watch that show - I just wanted a prize.

#7 Grey's Papaya is supporting Obama for president.

How can poor McCain fans compete with this?



#6 Jersey Boys is chock-full of great singing, great music and bad language.

Shouldn't they have to put a warning on the ticket or the posters or the Tony award? Awesome voices but f-bombs galore. Apparently the storytelling of the rise to fame of Franki Valli and the Four Seasons just wouldn't have been authentic without the bad language. The music lives on and apparently the bad language does too. My advice - wait for the edited version. (Good news - I only paid $27 for my Standing Room Only ticket! Bad news - I had to stand the whole time.)

#5 When it comes to the Wicked lottery, the 5th time is a charm!

Some of the broadway musicals hold lotteries. About two hours before the performance, you can submit your name in a drawing and the winners are able to buy front row tickets for $25. The regular price of this show is $180-$300 so it is quite a deal if you don't mind a sore neck. We have tried every year to win lottery tickets. There are usually about 60-90 people who line up. They draw 10 names and if your name is drawn you can buy a max of 2 tickets. I finally got picked!!! (So it was a "no" from Letterman, but a "yes" from Wicked!) We only got one of our names drawn so that meant that only 2 of our group could attend so we sent Lori and Danielle cuz Danielle hadn't seen it yet. Wicked is a treat. I have seen it once from the very front row on the left (partial view). I am looking forward to some day seeing the whole thing!

#4 Everyone with a New York or New Jersey accent sounds like a character from a movie.

It is so hard to take those people seriously when their accent is real heavy. They all sound like comedians or mobsters. I just want to look around and say "Am I on Candid Camera?"

#3 If you want a job where you get to wear a uniform and do a lot of standing around and talking to other people in uniform, then go to work for airport security at JFK.

How many people does it take to screen passengers at JFK? 20... 1 to check ID, 1 to check the xray screen and 18 to stand around talking (mostly in ebonics). Honestly I have never seen so many people standing around doing nothing. It was unbelievable. I wanted to tell someone. I wanted to blow the whistle. I wanted to report all of them, but I think their superiors were also standing around visiting. I wanted to demand a refund of my aiport security fees. Aaahhhh!

#2 Don't let young children go to the bathroom by themselves at JFK.

There were 2 young black girls (about ages 3 & 5) who were escorted to the bathroom by their brother (about age 8). Well the plan looked like a good one but the brother was a little perplexed about how to escort his sisters into a girl's bathroom and was unsure so he sent them in and waited outside. Then he had to go to the bathroom so the girls were waiting outside the bathroom by themselves for him. At some point an airport security officer (okay, okay - so I guess some of them actually work although honestly I think she was on a break) spotted the situation. The security guard was a bigger black woman (I am not trying to sound racist here but you just have to know that this woman was black to get the full picture.) She kept asking the girls were their mother was and the girls were sort of looking at the boy's bathroom like maybe she was in there. They didn't really articulate the situation. Then when the boy came out of the bathroom she asked him where their mother was and he said she was downstairs. She grabbed the girls hands and said to no one in particular with a voice full of black attitude, "You don't send children to the bathroom by themselves in New York City." Then she asked the boy to lead her to their mother. The boy asked in the cutest little voice, "Are you going to arrest her?" She said, "No, I'm just gonna talk to her." I really wanted to follow them and witness the rest of the scene for myself. I think it could likely have been something one would see in a Tyler Perry film. All I could think was, "There but for the Grace of God go I." I am sure that at many points in my mothering career, I trusted an 8 year old to be the bathroom escort for two younger sibs. I wonder how that mother handled her scolding?

#1 Purse shopping on canal street is something everyone should experience at least once in their life.

I am not so much hooked on owning fake designer purses as I am on the shopping experience. We have been ushered into vans parked on side streets. We have been shown through secret doors at the back of their stores and led down the stairs to secret basements. We have been led down alleys and into large buildings and up 5 flights of stairs and past rows of seamstresses and through more secret doors. It's an experience! Each vendor sells something just a little different than the next. All claim to have the latest and greatest and best price. You find 1 or 2 you like and then the negotiating begins. If they have a poker face type expression through the whole negotiation, then you have been suckered. If you throw out a price that makes them frown and look like they want to spit on you, and then you negotiate your deal from there - you know that you have done it right. I don't really know if it's legal or illegal, ethical or unethical but it's as close to living on the edge as I get.